Thursday, June 3, 2010

Flashback of Being a New Mom

I took a trip to the OBGYN's office recently for my yearly checkup and to discuss preparations for our second pregnancy. Why is it that our yearly check up never gets easier? You start dreading it about a week before. Then you start thinking, should I call and cancel? Maybe I should just put it off for another week or so...but if you do that, you just have to dread it for another week. So I went! 

Like most OBGYN offices mine is quite large and filled with many women awaiting an ultrasound, a glucose test, or the standard pap smear. It's usually pretty quiet, with most women texting away or pretending to read a magazine.
As I sat there awaiting my name to be called to discuss preparations for my second pregnancy, I looked around at the mostly friendly faces and couldn't help but notice all of the pregnant women. It reminded me of my last visit to the OBGYN which was about 2 1/2  years ago for my post pregnancy follow up visit six weeks after I had my son. (I know, I know, it’s terrible I hadn’t been in for an annual in almost three years. I told you I dread going every time.) I remember stumbling into the waiting room with an oversized purse hanging off my shoulder, a diaper bag stuffed with every possible thing an infant could need over an hour's time, and a car seat carrier loaded with toys, a blanket, and oh yeah, a baby, I was undoubtedly the center of attention. I was hoping they were taking note of the vast difference 6 weeks can make. Here they were, sitting alone, holding on to their one, tiny purse, quietly texting their husbands about how they HAVE to have pizza for dinner tonight while they watch American Idol and sitting right across from them is me and J,  taking up three seats and half the floor space. I wanted to say to them, "See how crazy I look? See how tired I look? See these awesome sweatpants I'm sporting and this hot mess of a ponytail I have to wear because I didn't have time to wash my hair this morning? This will be you next month! I know you're sick of being pregnant, but enjoy every minute you have left to sit through a meal or television show uninterrupted! And if you think you are getting bad sleep now, just wait til your new little one joins you!"
Remembering that moment scared the hell out of me, here I was without my toddler, who I now trust to stay at home with his daddy without the fear of being dropped on his head without me present, and I was here to discuss starting all over again with another baby. We have just now started to regain some of our sanity from the past 2 1/2 years and we want to start all over. Are we crazy? I think it is scarier the second time around because now I know what to expect during  pregnancy, the delivery and the blur of the first few months that comes from total sleep deprivation.  And on top of all that, I will now have a toddler to look after. So the naps I desperately remember needing in the first three months last time can pretty much be counted out. And God forbid I am deathly ill again like last time because I have no idea how I would get through that while taking care of a toddler.

Shortly after having my son I remember thinking, WHY DIDN’T ANYONE TELL US HOW MUCH A BABY CHANGES EVERYTHING! Now to be fair, I did have almost everyone who had kids warn me that a baby changes everything, but they did not tell me specifics! They did not tell me that sometimes babies don't nap for three hours a day. They did not tell me that when a baby wakes up in the middle of the night, sometimes they are awake for two or three hours straight. They did not tell me that if I am lucky enough to shower, it will take me over two hours to get ready. They did not tell me that every time I get to sit down to finally eat a meal that this will be the exact time that the baby decides to wake up screaming or will need to be fed. I may not have to get up every few hours anymore but having a toddler comes with a whole other set of challenges to deal with. 

But even after my terrifying FLASHBACK episode I am still excited about starting the process of adding a new member to our little family. I hope through this blog I can help prepare a mommy-to-be or a new mom understand, HOW a baby changes everything. Because that old saying is just way too vague to mentally prepare anyone for this "adventure".  And to all the moms out there who already have more than one child maybe you can offer me some advice as I find my way through the ups and downs of this crazy, exciting, roller coaster ride of motherhood for the second time with a toddler in tow.


allthingsnew said...

Hey! I am following you back from a Tuesday hop. I loved reading this story! I just had a little girl 9 months ago, and I think I probably looked just the same at my 6 week visit. I can also remember ppl telling me how much a baby changes everything, but I didn't really know what they meant either. Sometimes you just want five minutes to do anything alone, but you wouldn't trade it for the world, either. I can't even IMAGINE having another baby right now! You are a brave...and lucky...lady :)

Thanks again for stopping by my blog! I do hope you win something from one of the low entry giveaways :)

Stephanie - Ten Talents

Nic said...

My daughter was a day shy of 18 months when my son was born last summer. She was at that great stage of wanting to be independent and was sleeping in (!!!!) until 9am every day.... and then here I come with a newborn. I remember yelling at my husband around 4am one morning, "What in the HELL were we thinking?? This is all your fault!!!" I thought I'd never make it through the first few months alive. But I did. And you will too!

ps: Thanks for stopping by my blog, I'm following you now, too! Will do the same on Twitter. :)

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