My Current Quest for baby #2

Let me tell you about what I have been doing for the past couple of months.....Tracking my ovulation.

Now, let me tell you why I have been tracking my ovulation for the past couple of months......To try and increase my chances at conceiving a girl.

When I tell people this I usually get the same responses. A) That's crazy, how will tracking your ovulation help your chances of having a girl, B) Why would you want a girl, so much drama, I would love to have all boys, C) Just be happy with whatever you get.

Let me address each one of those responses here:

A) By pinpointing the exact day of ovulation you increase your chance of conceiving, this applies to anyone trying to conceive regardless of gender preference. There are many different ways to track ovulation and I have only chosen to do a few. The first is a Basal Body Thermometer (BBT). You take your temperature at the same time every morning and over a few cycles, you'll see patterns that indicate when ovulation typically takes place for you. The other way I help pinpoint ovulation is through Ovulation Predictor Kits (OPK's). These are much like pregnancy tests except they test the monthly LH surge- the sudden increase in luteinizing hormone present in your urine just before you ovulate. The presence of the positive ovulation test indicates that you will likely ovulate within 12 to 36 hours. If you are trying to have a girl, you'll need to begin timing sex during the period at least 2 to 3 days before you anticipate ovulation to take place. This method favors the slower but larger and more resilient X-chromosome sperm (girls). Intercourse further away from ovulation favors the larger slower moving X (girl) sperm. The weaker Y (boy) sperm will die more quickly in the more acidic preovulatory vaginal / cervical secretions and by the time of ovulation there will be a much larger concentration of X (girl) sperm available to fertilize the egg. Hence, your chances of conceiving a girl are greatly increased. At least according to this theory of thinking known as the Shettles Method.

B) I'm glad that you would be happy with all boys but we are different and that's ok. Please don't judge my desire to have a daughter. And since when did having a girl automatically invoke people to say things like "Drama and Way more work than boys?" I'm here to tell you that I have a son and OMG he is a lot of work. I just think that boys and girls have different issues than each other, not to say that either are more or less easier to deal with on the whole parenting spectrum, just different. I also want a daughter for things like bows, pink, purple, glitter, dresses, accessories, shoes, dress up, shopping, girly movies, prom dress shopping, wedding planning, being a mother to my daughter when she is pregnant one day, long talks about boys and what all the celebrities are doing, this list could go on and on forever. And Yes, I am aware that not all girls are into all of these things but the likelihood that a girl would be more into some of these things over a boy is pretty high. I already have a son and know I will get to enjoy all the absolutely fabulous things usually associated with having a boy that you may not get to experience with a girl. So why wouldn't I want the same thing with a girl? Sorry I'm coming off so defensive but I have quite frankly been shocked at the response I have gotten to my desire to have a girl. You never hear the same reactions I have received when you hear a father express the desire to have a boy. It just kinda seems skewed to me. 

C) This response bugs me a lot. Of course I will be happy with whatever God decides to give us. But don't look at me like I just told you I'm going to steal the lady next to me on the OB floors baby girl when I tell you that I'm trying to increase my odds of having a girl by tracking ovulation. Seriously, it's not that big of a deal. Yes, I know that many people are desperate to have a child regardless of gender at all. I feel for these people (some of which are some of my readers) so badly and I can not imagine having to go through all the things that you have had to go through mentally and physically just to try and conceive at all. But I also think that it is OK to desire a child of a certain gender and not to be judged because of it.

So, that's my rant for the day. Thanks for listening. I'll try not to drive you all crazy as we begin this wild ride again into parenthood for the second time with all my bodily functions, mental ups and downs and just plain ole' TMI that seems to take over many women when they are trying to conceive and especially when they get pregnant. That could be a whole other post entirely. =)

Flashback of Being a New Mom

I took a trip to the OBGYN's office recently for my yearly checkup and to discuss preparations for our second pregnancy. Why is it that our yearly check up never gets easier? You start dreading it about a week before. Then you start thinking, should I call and cancel? Maybe I should just put it off for another week or so...but if you do that, you just have to dread it for another week. So I went! 

Like most OBGYN offices mine is quite large and filled with many women awaiting an ultrasound, a glucose test, or the standard pap smear. It's usually pretty quiet, with most women texting away or pretending to read a magazine.

As I sat there awaiting my name to be called to discuss preparations for my second pregnancy, I looked around at the mostly friendly faces and couldn't help but notice all of the pregnant women. It reminded me of my last visit to the OBGYN which was about 2 1/2  years ago for my post pregnancy follow up visit six weeks after I had my son. (I know, I know, it’s terrible I hadn’t been in for an annual in almost three years. I told you I dread going every time.) I remember stumbling into the waiting room with an oversized purse hanging off my shoulder, a diaper bag stuffed with every possible thing an infant could need over an hour's time, and a car seat carrier loaded with toys, a blanket, and oh yeah, a baby, I was undoubtedly the center of attention. I was hoping they were taking note of the vast difference 6 weeks can make. Here they were, sitting alone, holding on to their one, tiny purse, quietly texting their husbands about how they HAVE to have pizza for dinner tonight while they watch American Idol and sitting right across from them is me and J,  taking up three seats and half the floor space. I wanted to say to them, "See how crazy I look? See how tired I look? See these awesome sweatpants I'm sporting and this hot mess of a ponytail I have to wear because I didn't have time to wash my hair this morning? This will be you next month! I know you're sick of being pregnant, but enjoy every minute you have left to sit through a meal or television show uninterrupted! And if you think you are getting bad sleep now, just wait til your new little one joins you!"

Remembering that moment scared the hell out of me, here I was without my toddler, who I now trust to stay at home with his daddy without the fear of being dropped on his head without me present, and I was here to discuss starting all over again with another baby. We have just now started to regain some of our sanity from the past 2 1/2 years and we want to start all over. Are we crazy? I think it is scarier the second time around because now I know what to expect during  pregnancy, the delivery and the blur of the first few months that comes from total sleep deprivation.  And on top of all that, I will now have a toddler to look after. So the naps I desperately remember needing in the first three months last time can pretty much be counted out. And God forbid I am deathly ill again like last time because I have no idea how I would get through that while taking care of a toddler.
 
Shortly after having my son I remember thinking, WHY DIDN’T ANYONE TELL US HOW MUCH A BABY CHANGES EVERYTHING! Now to be fair, I did have almost everyone who had kids warn me that a baby changes everything, but they did not tell me specifics! They did not tell me that sometimes babies don't nap for three hours a day. They did not tell me that when a baby wakes up in the middle of the night, sometimes they are awake for two or three hours straight. They did not tell me that if I am lucky enough to shower, it will take me over two hours to get ready. They did not tell me that every time I get to sit down to finally eat a meal that this will be the exact time that the baby decides to wake up screaming or will need to be fed. I may not have to get up every few hours anymore but having a toddler comes with a whole other set of challenges to deal with. 

But even after my terrifying FLASHBACK episode I am still excited about starting the process of adding a new member to our little family. I hope through this blog I can help prepare a mommy-to-be or a new mom understand, HOW a baby changes everything. Because that old saying is just way too vague to mentally prepare anyone for this "adventure".  And to all the moms out there who already have more than one child maybe you can offer me some advice as I find my way through the ups and downs of this crazy, exciting, roller coaster ride of motherhood for the second time with a toddler in tow.

No Filter Friday

Today is the day I can say all those things I've wanted to say all week but couldn't because I was filtering myself in order to achieve social acceptance.

• To the moms in the neighborhood that stand in front of their house and wait for the school bus to drop their kids off: You live less than 2 miles from the school! Get in the car and go pick your child up! Let's help save the school district a little money one pickup at a time.
  

• To the neighbors next door that constantly come over and "borrows" items to use for their meals: This is not Reasors, please make a grocery list and try a little harder to stock the items you seem to always forget. Here, I've made a list for you: butter, sugar, eggs, milk, and flour. Here's a link to coupons.com, you may even be able to save some money on those items. Thank you, drive thru, and please don't come again!
  

• To the greeter at Wal-Mart who tried to give my kid a sticker as soon as we walked in the door when she clearly saw that we were in the middle of an all out breakdown because he didn't want to sit in the shopping cart: Please back away and don't try and place your sticker on my kids shirt and then look at me like I'm the worst mother in the world when he tries to whack your hand away.
  

• To the new OBGYN I went to and voiced concern about what the possibility of being diagnosed with Hyperemesis again in my second pregnancy was and you replied, "We moms never come away unscathed from pregnancy" with that smart-ass little grin: Screw you lady! I lost over 20 pounds in three weeks, was basically made to feel like a crazy first time mom that didn't know my own body, had to have IV fluids multiple times, used 6 weeks of sick leave and vacation time and basically wanted to die. You obviously WILL NOT be the doctor I choose when I do become pregnant again.

Ahhhhhh, I feel much better! Why can't we all actually say these things on a daily basis? I bet we would feel much better at the end of the day. If you have anything you would like to say without your filter please share.